You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
