Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
