You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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