it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
