If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
