yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
