No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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