your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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