walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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