Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
