i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
