Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
