I forgot how hot balto sounded
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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