As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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