Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
