When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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