It's like God shit irony all over that family
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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