Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
