Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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