Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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