im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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