It's like God shit irony all over that family
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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