he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
