She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
