Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
tell me about the fingering
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