How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
