Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
