could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
