i just had sex bonerless
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
