I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
