3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
