i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
