Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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