none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize