You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Boobs speak an international language.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
