Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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