You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Randomize
