I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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