well I can't set my house on fire every night
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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