Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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