ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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