The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
my poor anus
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
