I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize