It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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