I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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