i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
