WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
