i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
