mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
