never play flip cup with pint glasses
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
