I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
