I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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