I am midnight drunk by noon
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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