U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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