his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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