so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
