I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
