That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I intend to get homeless drunk
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
