Im at strip club and am horny
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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