OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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