yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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