love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
