Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize